


The ways of the world.

by fellSans, GoldenSorrow



Category: Undertale
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-18 03:31:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8147704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fellSans/pseuds/fellSans, https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenSorrow/pseuds/GoldenSorrow
Summary: The underground is a messy place. When you fall, you fall hard, when it breaks it breaks just as hard and repair work can be real crappy.





	1. Chapter 1

It doesn’t matter where the sheets wind up, it doesn’t matter what body winds up tangled up with who or what clothes wind up tossed on the floor… It doesn’t matter who screams first or what person wakes up to calm the other of screaming but they’re there. He takes his hand and holds it fast and tells them it’s not real. They whisper words of nothing until fear retreats and quiet fills the room again swelling with the secret lulls of sleep once more and no one has to save the night from knives or bones and no one needs to know where one begins and the other ends. 

A fresh soul doesn’t know the trials of a world meant not to be permanent. He knows there shouldn’t be an undo button but there is and he doesn’t want to see what happens on the other side. The fear of repeating everything again and again and again settles in to a white hot bead burning in the back of his consciousness and despite knowing that hitting reset might fix things he couldn’t once have fixed he knows how it hurts to lose everything in an instant. There are nights that he sits there on the edge of the bed and wonder why he complains to himself, why he has these problems when there are more people out there who have it worse than he does, when others are drowning faster than he who has a small knowledge on how to swim… he who treads a bit of water but still only sometimes holds his head above water and think, _‘Why am I complaining?’_

Monsters are losing hope, some more than others. Then again how can’t you with only so much time to live and only so many people in the world who hurt enough to do something they’re not supposed to. Some monsters cling to a feeling they’re not going to find and end to. Some monsters keep that feeling alive, support it to no end even though they know better, even though the have the thought that nothing is going to ever change anything and they’ll be stuck here for an eternity looping through the same things over and over again till time itself is irrelevant and all that’s left is some ones and zeros desperately clinging to existence hoping for that one time things are different. Then again, some monsters just don’t have that feeling that one day it will all end, for better or for worse and really wouldn’t care if it tipped either way. 

There are times when two souls become whole for a while, filling gaps in where cracks and spaces run rampant. There are moments in the never ending tide of time that maybe you’re not afraid of staying stuck in a loop. That maybe one day the same things will turn into something magical, that seeing the same face in the morning staring at you when you think they’re sleeping or sinking into the same depression in your mattress and the same arms night after night will feel as fresh and right as seeing the stars for the first time and every time after that. A feeling that no matter how old either are that it will never get old and that maybe, just maybe there is something to be said about sameness that solidifies your presence in this life as real and you’re meant for more than just a repeating loop. But those feelings are fleeting, lasting only a mere moment before the fragile shell of a failed life crash around you like broken glass and you stare in disappointment at the broken shards wondering where it all went so wrong. 

Sometimes, monsters lose hope, sometimes there are times when resets aren’t enough… Sometimes there are things done too little too late to fix something broken, cracks that need filled that don’t show on the radar until it’s too late and you’re taking on water and eventually you both drown in an oncoming tide sinking your small barely held together boat and the two of you are left wondering why. When the wreckage clears, neither want to fix what once was because both know it will break faster this time than it did before, patching the gaping holes with nothing more than broken parts isn’t a way to mend a boat. Sometimes you part ways, cleaning up what you can until the beach looks as if nothing ever existed there in the first place and sometimes that is alright.


	2. From Her to Him; From Him to Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changing worlds, changing paths and finding new people along your own is never an easy thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The italics are written by GoldenSorrow where as the non-italics are written by myself. Their Chara is a part of their own AU and is roughly 19 where as my Frisk in this time is roughly 21-22 ish. Chara is a female and Frisk is a male. I do have permission to upload their half of the writing as this was a thing the both of us did sort of RP style in a google doc.

_They had only just met. Only mere moments from being pegged in the head with a branch perhaps about the size of one’s forearm. He had dodged and in doing so she had her curiosity perked in turn. It wasn’t anything significant nor was it anyone one would consider substantial. Perhaps she was lonely, no doubt curious about the newcomer she had been told about only hours before she found herself settled in the trees above the pathway many walked upon. She hadn’t meant to take a sudden interest in him.. But she had. It was a sort of interest that one could not ignore much like when a bug buzzes around one’s head making that annoying sound that made one want to squash it with any object nearby. Perhaps she wanted to. Perhaps she wanted to squish the feeling, dumb it down so she wouldn’t have to play the strings along her heart only to have them frayed and broken once again.. Just as she did before._

_But.. despite her better judgement.. She let him in. She let him near her and it might have been to spite her mind screaming at her that he was the same. That she wanted to try. That she would only be left muttering a soft ‘It wouldn’t have worked anyway..’ with that soft smile everyone seemed to know so well. She was tired.. So tired. Her smile was genuine at first, she wanted to see the best in the world and perhaps hope to figure out what she had missed out on in the first place. She curious.. So very curious. Not just about him or why he had a similarity to one she may had known in the past, but because she didn’t understand what the feeling was._

_That feeling was something she had kept under lock and key. Barbed wire surrounded this feeling to keep herself in and remind her that it hurts when it’s not returned. They left with thorns in their hearts and her bleeding because the wire was not outward towards them.. But backward towards her.. It was a reminder. A reminder that the world is cruel and she had never wanted to be like how she is. She never wished such ill intent to anyone at first.. At first.. It was good. It was happy and sweet like when one tastes a candy for the first time in many years._

_But of course.. Candy causes cavities.._

_Eventually, the sweetness of this life began to rot like the hardened enamel on one’s tooth. Much like a cavity darkened to a black hole in the bones in our mouth she in turn had darkened in actions and mood. Not to keep her safe.. Not to hurt others.. But because that was the only way she knew how to react.._

_She didn’t come from a family that taught her how to react appropriately to certain emotions, but they understood that. They understood that everyone had faults and no one was perfect. Not one being in the entirety of the universe and those beyond held any sort of perfect perfection. No.. No one did.. But they didn’t care. They adopted her as a daughter and sister, something they felt was as family to them as they were to her. They never knew that she was like a fire, warmth radiated from her that caused others to draw close. She was addictive to many, something new and inviting.. However.. Fire can burn._

_Fire can burn if one comes too close. It can cause wounds and marks upon even the toughest of men. They may not show it, but it hurts. She knew it did.. So she left. She left not for her sake but because if she stayed there was no promise that she’d end up back right where she had started in the first place. She didn’t want that. She didn’t want to end up back in darkness that even the most renowned scientist didn’t understand. If one of the highest knowledge didn’t understand such a place.. Then she had no hope of even attempting._

_There was a downside to her leaving just as much as when one gets too close.. There’s a lack of warmth that this fire would have originally given off. When they notice this they ask for the fire to return, to give back the warmth that she had originally given and that they would take the charred skin and blackened fingers in return to the hopes that the warmth would return._

_..She didn’t._

_Despite her original want and urge to have the best in life, to figure out what she had missed out on.. She refused. They had their chance, she said.. She thought. And they missed out on it. Despite her initial curiosity and perhaps even worry for them, despite everything she was originally told and fretted about.. She refused._

_Much like when one would defiantly refuse to follow along with a plan, she was done with them. They never attempted to douse the fire, only fuel it. She had figured out in the time of being on her own that this would never work. She didn’t wish to be fueled.. But understood.. She wanted to be understood that flames aren’t meant to be touched nor spoken to. She didn’t want more wood or words to fuel her intensity.. She wanted to know how to control herself.._

_By being on her own she found how it felt to be understood. She wasn’t entirely extinguished, but perhaps contained. Not by people who were afraid of her due to the brightness of the flames.. But because they had understood that she needed a smaller area to burn down.. After all, a flame will eventually die itself out given enough time.._

_And yet.. They had only just met._

 

He wasn’t damaged. There was just a glitch in the matrix so to speak and anger overpowered his life, took hold and rooted in his soul like some poisonous parasite that as much hurt him as it did help him. He had issues though, problems with people, ways of trying to deal with how to be a good person to people that caught in his throat and clogged his words and drowned his thoughts in bracken and weeds and left him dying before he could even let them understand this wasn’t what he wanted to do. Then again, no around him understood what it was like to have your own voice silenced by your brain in a twisted form of self mutilation. The world was his oyster, a candy to be plucked and eaten at his whim and no amount of golden spoons or ferraris under his name could assuage the drowning feelings keeping him taught like a piano string ready to snap at anything and anyone that dared pluck his wire. The ones supposed to help, to tell him he isn’t going insane or that he is validated, his problems, his worries his pain his grief at the loss of a way to talk to people and be a human being like anyone else never quite understood, his problems were problems, issues that stemmed from being a bad child with anger problems and he needed to cut that shit out or be drowned by their wrath and doomed to silence not by his own doings but by that of others and that, that alone ticked the tuning wrench over half a turn to many.  
  
When you fall you’re supposed to hurt yourself, you’re supposed to scrape your knee on a rock or break your legs or ankles from the impact of landing wrong but knowing somehow that people down below are better than those who lived above is more infuriating than one can imagine when all you wanted was to fall and to know that falling hurt you somehow. Forcing yourself through a path because anger got the best of you never gets you anywhere and you wind up running in circles till your legs give out and you’re stuck in a place you never wanted to be in the first place. It hurts all the same when you have to get up and move forward again and leave that circle behind for a new path because all the familiarity, the worn paths your feet are used to traveling and all the stops and resting points you once called home will be gone and you’ll look back on that never ending loop and miss it but at the same time you’ll feel the gratification knowing you left something that would wear you into the ground.

Branches falling on one’s head is never a good way to start a friendship, it’s never a good way to say hello but at the same time, anything else would have felt fake and full of so much bull shit it would have gotten ecoli. Being one easily able to duck and weave around anything that came his way, he should have been able to avoid falling. The first time he did it to himself, the second time the reason was a person much like someone he left behind but all in all understood that his choked voice could still be heard. He could speak to her without having to say a damn thing and that alone made him trip. It was all an elaborate ruse brought on by some dame called fate and sooner or later he’d have to atone for the sins on himself he committed and would have to heal the hurts no matter how hard or how painful it might be much the same way he had to leave that loop. Then again when you meet someone who’s broken worse than you feel yourself to be there’s always that feeling that through helping them, you can force yourself to dig through your holes and begin to re-build that boat.

As much as falling is supposed to be painful, sometimes you fall onto something soft and squishy and everything you thought should happen doesn’t and you’re left wondering what decided to change. They had hate in their hearts, not in the way most seem to think it should be but something that he could very much understand and agree with and sharing that pain drew him in past the point of no return and he realized that it’s ok to be a being wrought of strange things, weird feelings that leave one wanting not to feel them and try and be normal when all along you were as normal as the sun rising in the sky every morning. Just because you had some black to your soul doesn’t mean it’s no less a soul and just because they were no longer one to have a soul wholly theirs doesn’t mean it wasn’t theirs and it wasn’t valid. He felt for the first time that maybe, maybe he could allow himself to be human again, to sing in the joy of silence and just marvel at existing.

**Author's Note:**

> This is detailing my personal Frisk's relationship he had with Sans after his neutral route. Frisk is an adult around the age of 20 and is 100% cis male.


End file.
